Follow your dreams

Holiday haste

Fri, 23 Dec 2005 15:52:21 GMT

Oh I never had such hectic pre-holiday schedule!!! Soooo many last minute arrangements. So many crazed phone calls from people I haven't heard from for ages. Meeting old friends in the street or in the mall.

Everyone's planning parties. Did you ever have to PLAN your party schedule??? I do now. Usually I'd choose one or two where I'd like to go. This time I think I'll be partying like crazy!! Unless my special man kidnaps me LOL

I could tell his planning something. He's been asking weird questions about my travelling dreams and stuff :) Like I don't know what he's up to!!! But I pretend I notice nothing. I want a SURPRISE :))))

Holiday season

Tue, 13 Dec 2005 15:36:01 GMT

My mailbox is exploding with emails from friends discussing who is going where for the New Years.

What to do.
How to celebrate.
Where to go.

Plans. Dreams. Special moments organised. Travel. Tickets. Hotels. Visas. WOW!!!

And its all very urgent! And there's this spirit of haste in the air!!

And you know you'll forget something in the end. And things won't work out as perfectly as you wished. And some presents won't be as pleasing as you wanted.

But still people want to hope that with every starting year there's a hope for a better and happier life. Silly people cling to hope ;)) But so do I as well...

Of men and bubbles

Mon, 12 Dec 2005 20:02:50 GMT

Its amazing what one glass of champagne can do to a woman. You feel light-headed, and strangely excited. You're not yourself, yet you're more yourself than you've ever been before.

You want to do crazy things. You want to catch snowflakes in your mouth. You dance in the street. Not because you're drunk, but because life is great LOL

One glass of champagne can alter your reality. The shadows are no longer that dark. And the light is forever brighter!

Why, the reason for a glass of champagne?? I just had a great day!!! that's enough, or not? :)

Breaking corporate rules

Thu, 08 Dec 2005 15:58:08 GMT

It's funny how a busy day at work lights up once you get an email from someone special to you. :) I can handle any stress, any amount of work, any situations and troubles, IF only I have time to check my personal mailbox every now and then.

I know it's distracting, I know I should not be doing it.. But its just sooooooo sweet to get a couple of lines saying - Hey! I've missed you a lot and what do you think about a cup of coffee with me after work? :)

I don't know about others - but it makes me want to work twice as hard drawing nearer the end of the working hours... Oh, I'm so disgustingly dreamy these days! Hee-hee!! And its all his fault - he's just too perfect!! :)

Roommates

Wed, 07 Dec 2005 11:55:34 GMT

If my roommate unplugged the phone after 10pm, told me what to do, who to see and be friends with - I'd send her every road possible, but wouldn't agree to live with her! C'mon we're all grown-up people!! Don't be mothering me :)

What's my policy on communal living? Share and share alike I say :))) I think it was a TV ad of some brand of bear LOL

Down with a flu...

Mon, 05 Dec 2005 23:12:59 GMT

I usually don't like being sick... But when you're spoiled all weekend by a man who comes by to bring you hot milk with honey, and reminds you to take the medicine, and checks if you've got a fever by tenderly touching your forehead...

Mmmm, Oh please I want to stay sick!!! At least another day or two... Come doctor, help me I'm feeling so bad :)

Ancient times romance

Thu, 01 Dec 2005 16:04:15 GMT

The book I'm reading is about vikings in exile. I can't help but notice how seemingly easy those brave and rough sailors find their wives. Namely:

One - saved a girl from a sinking ship, the very fact that he saved her made her his wife
Two - saw a woman in the street sewing, learnt she was a widow with a minor child; next day offered her to put on married woman head cover
Three - passing by a small village met a girl who was taken captive by a hostile tribe, yet managed to escape and came home pregnant. The noble viking took her as his third wife, since her own village rejected her.
Four - saw a slave girl in the woods once, went to buy her out.

And so on and so forth. Amazingly, as the story unveils, all those 'hasty marriages' make an impression of a truly Happy Ever After!!! Perhaps the problem of contemporary marriage and family deterioration is that people actually THINK too much before getting hooked for life? :D

Try this scenario:
1. See a girl in the street
2. Try your favorite pick-up line
3. She digs you? Great!! Ask her to marry you.

If she agrees, chances are - you'll stay together for a lifetime! At least that's what that book preaches LOL

Childhood horrors :-)

Wed, 30 Nov 2005 10:34:10 GMT

We've been discussing our worst childhood fears with the girls at work. One girl told a story of how her parents forgot to pick her up from kindergarten. The other told a story how she couldn't get home for hours because of an angry dog blocking her way.

My worst childhood memory is about 3 months summer holiday which I had to spend sitting alone in my grandmother's apartment in town. I couldn't go out - coz it was too dangerous. I couldn't invite friends - coz I had none in that neighbourhood. I could just sit at home and watch TV (the 2 channels that grandma had). In the afternoon they'd stop broadcasting for a few hours and there would be this hissing sound called white noise and no picture. But the dead silence wasn't much better. I'd imagine a burglar breaking through the door. Or a monster hiding under grandma's bed. Hee-hee!!

It's so funny to remember about it these day. Most of these fears were implanted into my head by my own parents meaning me well. Not the 'Monster' part though. The Monster was my own invention :) One day, I was sitting there as usual, playing doctor - making magic mixtures from all kinds of disease... And I decided - I'm a Red Cross doctor, the Monster can't touch me. So I summoned up my courage, walked straight to the grandma's room, pulled the cover up and called - Monster!! Are you there?? Come out! I'm not afraid of you! :)))

Never since then have I been afraid of staying alone or in the dark!! Challenge builds courage, huh?! :)

Wind of change...

Mon, 28 Nov 2005 12:54:34 GMT

Friends say I have a prick up my... mmm, say, my soft rear side LOL And sometimes I have to admit they're right.

Every now and then I get this feeling. A yearning of some sort. For a change. I suddenly want to change my job, move to another city where nobody knows me, start from scratch and just do silly things. Like cut my hair real short, or run a drastic revision of my wardrobe. At such times my female friends can sport my favourite piece of jewelry or a trendy pair of shoes. AND Damn, they always take advantage of it :)

There's one thing that can put off the upcoming seizure - going to a bookstore.

Memo to me: Bookstore. Tonight! :)

Oooooh, my!!

Sun, 27 Nov 2005 14:29:48 GMT

I was given an electric epilator. It was lying on the self for some months... I came across it by chance when taken by the usual weekend cleaning passion.

Jeez, I though to myself, sunday is a good day to try something new like this accessory!!

And enthusiastically set myself to discover the magic of this highly technological torture tool. Ooooh! THAT was a very new and refreshing experience!! After that you want to be like those women in the rural regions don't shave at all. You suddenly want to forget that you live in a modern world. And you hope to find a man who's just can't imagine his life without your hairy calves.

Jeeez! I do hope their ad was telling the truth and I won't have to put my legs through that for another fortnight!!! But I'm afraid I won't be up to it for another year!!

No new diet of mine

Fri, 25 Nov 2005 17:23:54 GMT

I've suddenly lost my appetite for food. Almost all week I live on one pottle of yogurt in the morning or a chocolate bar at lunch and lots and lots of tea - lukewarm black tea. I'm not dieting and I don't want to lose weight (my body just can't get any better by losing weight - he-he!!). I'm not depressed. Not sad. Not stressed.

I just don't want to eat. The girls at work really envy me. I just realised that EVERY woman on my floor is on some sort of a diet, or is unhappy about her weight or the shape of her hips for instance.

It's amazing what one can learn if one misses a couple of lunches just because one is not hungry :)

Good ol' friends

Wed, 23 Nov 2005 13:48:28 GMT

Sometimes is feels so good to meet an old friend. I don't know about others for me friendship if it started never really ends, unless the person betrayed me in a bad way. I mean, if we just lose contact, or somehow our daily activities don't let us see each other frequently, it doesn't end the friendship... Ok, I'm getting mixed-up here..

I met a friend of mine during lunch break today. I haven't seen her for like 5 months. And it felt like she just got this new job yesterday that we weren't able to meet. We talked of everything! Of people we knew together. Of places she went to, and of places I went to. Of old and new friends and boyfriends. So many emotions, so many feelings and experiences of the past were brought back with this one encounter... Human beings are past 3-dimentional space...

I don't understand when people say - I met an old friend of mine and it felt like I never new this person, coz we're so different. No, for me - friendship never really ends IF it started. :)

In the Christmas mood...

Tue, 22 Nov 2005 13:59:16 GMT

Yesterday's efficiency factor 0.1 - went to pick up the photos from the photolab for my boss
Todays' efficiency factor 0.2 - made two phone calls upon my boss' request

Jeez! I know the whole Christmas and New Years' hustle and bustle is coming soon and you know why I know that? Coz I walked into the farmacy to get me some cough pills and the shelves there were already adorned with Christmas deco!! But anyway, the atmosphere at the office right now is like the calm before a storm. Friends are already asking me what plans I have for Christmas, and what we're doing after the New Years'.

It's planning too far in advance. I'm just enjoying the lazy days at work. Actually, enjoying so much that I even slept in this morning and was 30 min late!! That's something that hasn't happened to me in more than 2 years! My boss was up for a surprise, that's for sure :)

Fairy tales in Action

Mon, 21 Nov 2005 12:05:50 GMT

Walt Disney 'Chronicles of Narnia' in theatres this December!! I can't believe that I just saw the poster in the street. And as soon as I got to computer I just had to see the trailer. I mean, its my favourite childnood book!!! I've been waiting for it to be filmed ever since I read the series!!

Can't wait! Can't wait!!! I already contacted all of my friends to tell them about it. And we already have plans for the end of December to go see it :) Me!! Who never plans two weeks in advance LOL

It's promising to be better than Harry movies and the Rings trilogy!!! Oooooh! I'm such a sucker for the kidie stuff!!!

You've made your bed...

Fri, 18 Nov 2005 18:01:05 GMT

My female friends somehow believe me an expert in relationships. I mean, I do talk (and write) a lot about it, but I'm not up to consulting anyone else on their private life hardships over the phone. At least not this week!!

Just finished a 40 min conversation over the phone - the girl was telling me about her lover/boyfriend... I don't know what you call a married man who says he's in love with someone who's not his wife. I never dated a married man, so what can I say anyway?

- Uhm... I don't know... Do you want this relationship?
- YES!
- Ok, do you know what you're getting yourself into?
- Yes

What else could be said? You've made your bed - now lie in it!

Psychic reading anyone? nah! thanks...

Thu, 17 Nov 2005 22:16:14 GMT

I know this new guys at the office has been watching me. Now he came up with this all of a sudden:

"You make an impression of a person not quite withdrawn, but rather... looking at the world and people around you with a smile of an observer. Someone self-assured and watching the reality unwrap neatly in front of you just as you expect it too. If someone attempts to offend you, you won't leave it unnoticed and the prospective offender will most probably regret his intentions. Yet you're gracious, and won't judge a person based on first impressions. You expect the best from people, but you're prepared to handle the worst."

He just said that, and walked away. I mean, is that freaky or what?!

Choco-therapy

Wed, 16 Nov 2005 09:58:02 GMT

A male collegue gave me a bar of my favourite chocolate this morning. I wonder how did he know? Milk chocolate. Whole elmonds. Was it a way of reminding me to stop being that edgy about work? Deadlines always make me a bit harsh. But chocolate and almonds have this way of making me feel... mmm.. content, perhaps... Such a small thing - but it helps me work through the stressful moments in life. Oh, I work with some really really great guys!!! :)

Back to my choco-therapy.

"Quadratisch. Practisch. Gut."

Boys are impossible!!!!!!!!!!

Tue, 15 Nov 2005 16:07:03 GMT

This Turkish boy has been flirting with me over IMs for a few months. (I call him 'boy' coz he's a few weeks younger than I) He said his company is sending him to Moscow on business. So I said lets meet for a cup of coffee at lunch time. He said sure, would love to. So I gave him my phone number.

Two weeks later he appears with a message again:

- Hey, sorry I didn't call.
- No prob. But why didn't you?
- Uhm... was scared.
- Scared? of me?
- Yeah.
- ???
- well.. I thought you're so pretty in the photo. I'd fall in love with you... And.. you live there, and I only come for a few weeks. We have this saying in Turkey that translates like "Beware of Russian beauty".. So I thought I better not call you.
- .................
- But I really like you!! You're like my dream girl!!
- !?!?

HA! And he just missed seeing his dream face to face :)

Mon, 14 Nov 2005 11:27:58 GMT

A female friend of mine called me yesterday - really upset about the weekend with her boyfriend. Basically, she said:

- I'm gonna break up with Denis!!! (they've been together like 5 years or so)
- Why? What happened?
(and she explains almost yelling at the top of her lungs)
- Can you believe we had this amazing time together Friday night he took me to the Endy Worholl exhibition His mom got us tickets Then to our favourite cafe near Arbat I mean it was perfect If only his damn car wasn't so tiny When we're married we're buying a Dodge Caravan or something bigger!!!!!!!!!!!
(she stopped to catch her breath. I was puzzled, to say the least)

- Wait... Are you two breaking up or getting married??
- Well... He proposed and I said Yes... but - did you understand WHAT I'm telling you?!?
- Yeah! Congratulations!!!
- No, you don't get it - it was one of the most frustrating moments of my entire sexual life ALL because of his stupid tiny car!!!

ok, the rest of the story you can guess from there :) All I know now - I'm invited to a wedding.

PS Denis is a Russian male name, first syllable stressed. Unlike female name Denise ;)

Of baths and bubbles

Thu, 10 Nov 2005 21:23:41 GMT

I've had this dream last night. Its actually really positive, but at first it got me thinking hard.

So, I was really upset in my dream that my bed was too small and it was absolutely impossible to sleep in. I got up, went to the bathroom, turned the water on. Undressed, but not fully - left my undies on, white (jeez!! weird logic!!!). Got in the warm water, and lay there a few minutes relaxing and feeling my every mussle...

Then I reached out and had a razor blade in my hand. (Don't freak out just yet!! The fun part is coming) I... yes, you knew it!... cut the vein on my left arm slowly moving the razor up from the wrist towards the elbow. Felt no pain. Blood started dripping into the bath. The water changed color. Red, but not like horror movies. It was the color of life!! I mean it was sooooo beautiful, that I didn't notice right away that I'm looking at my own body as if I'm up in the air. (My undies changed color to red, eyes were shut, the rest of me looked as as if asleep)

AND... I woke up!! I felt really uhm... excited for some reason! And a bit perplexed. As if the dream didn't quite finish.. Later in the day I remembered reading a psychology book about interpretation of dreams. Dreams of suicide are considered very positive, coz they imply that something is changing in me, I'm re-thinking and re-arranging my life. Blood is even better as it gives the whole thing a sacrificial tone - like the old me is dead and new me is quickened to life :)

Feeling like those Gothic ladies. Hee-hee!!! Now that I have such dreams, I might as well paint my nails deep purple and dress up in black lace skirts ;)

PS Oh, Just remembered... I woke up and fell asleep again. Dazzling summer day, Bobby (my little nephew) is with me, out on a golf course playing ping pong. (Don't ask me why!) There's someone else there, someone big and strong too. I kept looking over my left shoulder trying to see but no, could see no one. It didn't worry me at all. I felt soooo happy and strong, as if my body isn't mine really so flexible and full of life.

plans change...

Tue, 08 Nov 2005 16:17:37 GMT

My grand trip to Scotland is suspended indefinately - ALAS!!! It would be a real bummer if it wasn't due to another business trip to Sochi ;) Sochi is one of those amazing places in November which I wouldn't miss going to. Not even for a zillion bucks!! :)

I was in Sochi before at the end of October and begining of November. Mmmm... There was no man near me then to make it special, but no man was actually needed. The weather was so mild with warm rain and sweet sunshine. The smell of grapes which I could pick just reaching my hand out of the window. The sea. I could spend hours by the sea, just watching it change...

Can't wait!!!!

weekend's over... life's fun!

Mon, 07 Nov 2005 18:07:05 GMT

No, seriously: Working after a long weekend is absolutely wrong :)

So, we did it and it was one of the best weekends I've had lately. Funny thing, 100 km from the city and there's sooooo much snow on the ground!!! I was wearing my new sneaker shoes and, well... I'd had a lot of truly refreshing experiences connected with getting snow in my shoes unexpectedly :))

Anyway, those fine days are in the past now. I'm back in the daily routine. Walking into the office - broke the heel of the left boot! Back to sneakers again LOL Which again brings some sweet memories back.. I mean its been so long since I had such a great time over weekend. What was the occasion I still wonder!! Gotta get online and find out what public holiday it was anyway.

If you thought I'd get to the saucy details - sorry to disappoint you! Private life stays private this time ;) I'm superstitious lately. Afraid that speaking up about it might spoil everything. Later!! hee-hee

Dream dates to choose from...

Wed, 02 Nov 2005 22:09:38 GMT

I'm in a dreamy mood lately... so I'm thinking up a dream date :) I mean, I know what I'd like... but Guys!! Need your perspective. Here's a list of things - which are more appealing for yous, I wonder:

- romantic walks around Moscow downtown
- scating or rollerblading
- ferry ride down the Moskva river
- latest Bill Murrey movie at the cinema
- Audry Hepburn movie on DVD at home
- ok, ok! He can choose the movie he likes to see :)
- long talks over a few cups of coffee at our favourite cafe
- museums and arty places
- dancing all night long at clubs
- parachute jumps
- taking photographs of each other
- going to a rock concert together
- other options: ANY suggestions are welcome :)

PS A DREAM date is one you BOTH enjoy ;)

Holiday?

Wed, 02 Nov 2005 22:04:47 GMT

It was Nov. the 7th, now the 4th... Uhmmm, WHAT are we going to celebrate anyway? :) Most countries have a list of public holidays, and everybody knows when they are having a lazy day midweek... Holidays here are unpredictable!! LOL

So, anyway, FRIDAY IS A DAY OFF!! A long and exciting 3-days weekend a head. Actually, I'm getting away from the city with some friends to a village cottage house. Barbeques outside, fireplace, lotsa music and d-a-n-c-i-n-g!! But, the problem is -3 guys want to go with me... And of course there's only room for one. Damn! I hate it when I have to make such choices. I'm just about giving up on the whole idea coz...

guy #1: is a collegue, I had a crush on him some months ago, but he didn't notice then;
guy #2: is a friend from University, my best buddy, he's hillarious, can light up any party;
guy #3: is a hell of a dancer! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!!!!!!!!!!

NOT FAIR! choices... choices... Life has never been so full before ;)

Stalker in my life???

Mon, 31 Oct 2005 14:45:59 GMT

First and foremost - I only know the guy virtually, ie he's an online chat pal... I never raised any of his hopes of coming to live with him in his country, what's more I refused expressly any hopes of a relationship between us, other than online aquiantance. Now the story:

It was funny talking to him in the begining. He was like SOOOOO excited about every little word I said "Oh really?" and "WOW! You're awesome!!". The guy's not pretty, to say the least. He owns his little business in a small town somewhere between Uruguay and Peru. Then he was completely insane about my birthday, and kept asking what can he send me. Ok, I usually don't take presents from people I hardly know, but after 3 weeks of his begging and pleading I gave him my mom's address and told him - let it be a book. Before long the parcel came. Containing not only a book of 500+ pages, but also some local newpapers, a couple CDs with music he likes, a few dozens little postcards with "I love you" and "You're beautiful" messages. Needless to say, I didn't ASK for any of the extra stuff! What's more I don't need newspapers or CDs. So, I said - thanks for everything, but please don't send me things as I don't need them. I was trying to be nice...

A few months later - a second parcel arrived. I don't remember the occasion now - perhaps, he just thought I am in dire need of some rubbish in my life :) There were Again endless postcards, CDs with software I don't use, and a letter 5 pages long, hand-written and absolutely impossible to read. Once again, I was - uhm, thanks, and I'm really sorry but I don't need these things!!! I can afford to buy my own software and movies and (if I happen to feel like it) postcards too. Thanks! But don't send any more! Don't waste your money!!! "Ok! Ok!" he said...

Third parcel arrived just a few days ago.. I was doubtful about going to the post office to pick it up - anyway, curiousity took over. So, now I'm a happy owner of:

*5 CDs video of his whole town filmed with a web-cam, including his two houses (toilets too, just in case I want to know how toilets look)
*3 CDs of photos of his entire family
*more CDs with real bad picture quality movies like SpiderMan, some porn too BTW (in case I'm interested)!!
*Yeah, you guessed it: MORE postcards!!!
*An ugly small soft toy Monkey
*A tiny notebook
*3 pairs of cheap earings
*A golden bookmark (I guess it should go with the book)
*A golden necklace with a ladybug
*A navel ring (do I have to pierce my navel now?!)
*A pair of mittens (too small).
*A blue cotton top and
*A pair of jeans (my size!!)

And of course a letter in my inbox this morning (adorned with hearts and bunny rabbits) asking if I like the things, and if I need anything else, I should just tell him and it will be sent to me immediately. Also, if I happen to need money, he saved 2 thousand something in US currency just for me!!! And of course, I can come to live in his country at any time, and his second house will be at my disposal!

That I believe is IN-SANE!!!!! Wrote him another "thanks-I-don't-need-it" email, blocked him in IMs, gonna delete any further messages without reading them, thinking about sending him his parcel back... Can't believe I am being stalked like that!!!!!!!!!